I have never understood parents who don’t give their children rules and boundaries in their lives; it always ends with kids who grow into adults who think they can do anything they want with no consequences. It’s not how the world runs and those kids are always surprised when they find that out.
My house had rules and boundaries and I gave my kids choices when I needed them to do something. It made them feel like they had some control in their lives, which they needed to feel. HOWEVER, what I also always did was make sure that the two choices I gave them were BOTH OK with me. That way, they thought they had some power and I knew that whatever they chose I would still have what I needed from them. Sometimes, one of the choices was “or I can always be angry” but it was their choice. For some reason my kids never chose for me to be angry! I guess they thought it would be way worse than anything else I needed. Smart kids.